July 7, 2023

This is one of the principles Felicia and I learned together early on in our marriage. We understood that we should always be kind to everyone because Yahweh is.

Now, even though this is something I learned a long time ago, I still have problems abiding by it. Felicia always had a better handle on exercising this principle - much better than I. I need to remember how Felicia approached different situations and apply the appropriate principle when applicable.

She was such a good role model for me. She taught me many things and revived in me many other things I had forgotten. God worked through my wife to bring me back into His Presence. It wasn't hard, either. Having been born and raised as a Southern Baptist, I already had a foundation when I met Felicia while wandering the wilderness. So when I was introduced to Felicia that crisp spring evening 22 years ago, the path I had taken suddenly meandered back to the path God designed for me.

Now, 22 years later, as I'm climbing this million-mile mountain stretch of the path, I need to keep my eyes focused on Yeshua. I need to work harder to show my Messiah I am His to use. I need to take the legacy that is my Wife and turn it into sharing the Gospel of Jesus. Currently, I'm still stuck on this boat, in the middle of this stormy lake, partway up my million-mile mountain, getting ready to step over the side and onto the waters. I'm getting there, but I need more time because my grief has been heavy.

Ever since our room started getting remodeled by Felicia's loving uncle Jim, my heart has been retorn, refractured... I know this needs to happen, and I know it needs to happen now. I'm just struggling with redesigning our "apartment" after we spent years together in it. Those four walls, in their periwinkleish-blue tone, are now a tannish color. The ceiling has gone from white to black. One wall has had its sheetrock removed to expose beadboard. Just these changes, alone, have set my emotions off. While all good, the changes have affected me like I never even imagined they would...

I miss you, Felicia. Intensely. Immensely. Always. Forever. #Fiercely.