July 3, 2023

This is the VOD from two years ago. It's just as appropriate today as it was when it was written thousands of years ago. And, it's a verse that I've been trying to exercise...

Ever since February 21st, I have been seeking Adonai's face, His arms, His comfort. I ran to Yahweh when I found my wife had died suddenly and unexpectedly. I cried out to Him. I fell at His feet, fully broken. My life was forever changed 19 weeks ago. And only Yahweh, His Son Yeshua, and the Holy Spirit could carry me out of that awful pit of despair and desolation and onto the million-mile mountain that stood before me.

I knew that if I turned from God that Tuesday evening, I would have found myself on a path of destruction. I would have become a shell of a man, barely recognizable to my family and friends. I probably wouldn't even be here (on FB) right now. I probably wouldn't have been posting every day in fond memory of my beautiful bride. I would have become the source of worry and frustration for my family.

This isn't what God wanted.

So, I knew I couldn't run from Him. I knew I couldn't raise my fist to Him and yell at Him. I know Adonai is incapable of evil and knew it then, so there was no point in shunning Our Creator. So I ran TO Him. From the very beginning...

I sought after the Lord and especially His Strength. I knew I couldn't go through what's left of my life without His Strength and Guidance. I knew that if I wanted to climb this mountain, I would need every bit of help from Him I could get.

So I gave Yeshua my shattered heart, I gave the Holy Spirit my crushed soul, and I gave Yahweh my undivided attention. I've stumbled here and there, but I have continued to keep my eyes on the Cross. I've been disobedient a few times, but I've always returned to Him, seeking forgiveness. I want to keep climbing this mountain with God. I can't summit this peak without Him...

I love you, my sweet angel. I miss you. Always. Forever. #Fiercely