March 11, 2023

Sometimes it's hard to keep my focus on Yahweh, especially when I long for Felicia's laugh, her loving embrace, her candid thoughts...

But I know I need to keep my focus on Him. I need to continue to praise and worship Him because He wants me to do something with my shattered heart - He needs me to use my sorrowful loss to share His Hope and Love with others. As difficult as it is, sometimes, to remain Joyful while I'm wallowing in this valley of darkness, I know He's my Deliverer. I know His Love is a Light for my path up this million-mile mountain. I know His Presence will continue to be with me - as long as I remain focused on Him.

I miss Felicia’s beautiful eyes, her sweet voice, her wonderful, uplifting laugh, her delicate hands... I miss my wife #fiercely. But knowing that she's whole again, knowing that she's no longer in pain, she's no longer suffering, helps me to keep my focus on Yeshua the Messiah.

As I continue my journey, I know there will still be moments of horrific pain. I know there will still be moments of panic or fear. But I also know that with Him by my side, with His Spirit guiding me, I'll be able to overcome those moments and keep my eyes on Him. I know He has a job for me and I wait, patiently, for it to be revealed.

I love you, Felicia. Always. Forever. Fiercely.