May 12, 2023

Felicia was definitely a child of God. She loved the Lord with all her heart, all her soul, and all her mind. She tried her best to lean on Him and not her own understanding. It's this #passion for Yahweh that drew me to her. It's this #love for Him that brought me back to His path for me.

Now, I need to continue my path by, first, taking Yeshua's Hands, which are reaching for me above these stormy waters. As my shattered heart continues to be healed by His Hands, I need to put all my #trust and #faith in Him to keep me above this water, walk with me to the shore, and continue climbing with me up this million-mile mountain...

It's been an emotional roller-coaster this week. I've made many memories during my Honor Trip. There hasn't been one place I've visited or one event I've attended that hasn't been bittersweet. I've gotten closer to Yahweh, I feel. This has been helping me with my #grief. I've wept a lot this week, grieving and mourning my wife's sudden and unexpected death. Everywhere I look, here, I see her.

I miss my beautiful angel deeply. I miss her profoundly. I miss her sweet lips, her cute laugh, her fun wit, her wonderful intellect, her warm embrace, her beautiful eyes... I miss Felicia horribly. Whenever my distraction goes away, the reminder that I'm a widower is made anew, dramatically bringing me back to February 21.

In these moments, I lean fully on God. I let His Spirit lift this weight. I let Jesus mend my heart. I know I wouldn't be in this moment in my life, were it not for His #Grace and Love. If I had turned from Him 11 weeks ago, I'd be a wreck, or worse...

I'm so #grateful Felicia is a child of God's. I'm so #thankful I am, as well. Because of these two important, life-altering #truths, I know she's #dancing in His #Glory surrounded by His Pure Love and I know, someday, I'll be joining her and all those who went before me.

Until then, I'll miss my wife. Always. Forever. #Fiercely