May 9, 2023

This was the verse of the day from a year ago. This is one of the verses I've been holding onto for the last 11 weeks...

11 weeks ago, today, my lovely wife went to be with Yeshua, to dance in His #Presence, surrounded by His #Glory, and encompassed by His #Love. 11 weeks ago, today, the best part of me went #home...

When I'm not distracted, it still feels like #yesterday. I can go about my day, but I'll still have moments throughout it where the memory of that fateful day comes flooding back, and I'm freshly reminded that I'm a widower. Those moments of reminders nearly bring me to my knees, they nearly sink me beneath the water, they nearly knock me off my million-mile mountain...

In just one moment, I can be instantly returned to February 21 and forced to relive that horrible day. But, now, I try not to fear in those moments; I try not to be dismayed. I know Yahweh is with me. I know Yeshua's outstretched hands across this water are holding and healing my shattered heart. I know The Spirit is lifting this immovable weight from my crushed soul. I know my healing will take time...

But, in these terrible moments, my heart shatters a little more. The pieces remain in Jesus' hands, and He gets to work mending the freshly-broken part. I can tell it's getting a little easier. But the #pain is still just as intense. My tears and weeping are just as hard. It's in those moments I have learned to recall this verse, among a multitude of verses, and can thank God for 22 wonderful years with my beautiful bride. It's in those moments I am learning to dwell in His Shadow, to go to Him for #comfort, to seek His Wisdom... it's in those moments I am learning to live again. And I thank Our Father for being with me and upholding me, even when I stumble; even when I fall.

I miss you, my angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely