May 2, 2023

"I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down and wiped our tears away; stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say, 'Amen,' and it's still raining. Well, as the thunder rolls, I barely hear Your whisper through the rain, 'I'm with you.' And as Your mercy falls, I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

"And I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands - for You are who You are no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand; You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm." - Casting Crowns

10 weeks ago, today, was the last time I heard my lovely wife's voice. It was the last time I kissed her lips; the last time I held her... 10 weeks ago my world was forever changed. Suddenly and unexpectedly...

I could have fled from Yahweh. I could have raised my fist at Him, yelled at Him, and run away from Him. I could have very easily done that. Others have. All throughout history, others have. I could have joined that group of people. Instead, I chose to run TO Him. I chose to #praise His Name and #exalt Him - because no matter how #terrible things are, no matter how heart-shattering that single event was, I know God is incapable of #evil. I know He can not be the cause of my #tragedy. I know He is #Faithful and #True.

Instead of crumbling, I decided to climb. Instead of giving in, I decided to go up. I wasn't going to let satan defeat me. I wasn't going to let that evil serpent pull me down to his level. I could have easily fallen. Instead, I got to my knees and cried out to Yeshua to save me, save my shattered heart, comfort me in my turmoil.

And He did. He still does. As I'm walking across this stormy sea, desperately reaching out for His Hands, I'm keeping all those sweet memories, the billions of them, vivid in my mind. I recall each laugh, each smile, each hug, each kiss, each caress, each bit of my beloved bride... all these #memories, along with the #love I feel from My Savior and His Spirit, bring me #comfort. Knowing my adorable Felicia is praising God right now without any pain brings me peace.

I love you, my angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely