April 23, 2023

Felicia wasn't ashamed of the #Gospel. She never hid her #faith in Yahweh, in Yeshua. She loved the #Trinity and God's #Promises to us. She dwelled on His Word. She was a fine example of a good Christian and it's this example that drew me nearer to Our Father. Through her #faith in Him, I turned my life around and rejoined His #family 22 years ago. Because of Felicia's unashamed #trust in Yeshua, I walked back to the path God laid before me 42 years ago when I got #saved and #baptized.

Now that my lovely #wife is basking in His #Glory, #worshipping in His #Presence, fully healed, whole, and #ALIVE without any more pain, suffering, or tears, I need to remember these things as I stand on this boat, praying I'll faithfully take the step onto the waters and meet Jesus in this storm. He wants me to go to Him. He's calling my name, asking me to take up my cross and follow Him up my million-mile mountain so that I can #serve Him fully. He also knows I need to finish #mourning before I take this step. He knows that I need to #grieve so that my shattered heart can be mended and my crushed soul can be unburdened...

I don't know how long I need to #suffer in this #anguish, this #turmoil I have to go through. I don't know when my broken dreams and shattered heart will be #renewed. But I know they will. I know Yahweh has something #great in store for me. I know He's patiently waiting for my heartache to turn to peace. I just need to keep my eyes on Him. I need to keep my faith in Him. I need to show Him I #trust in Him and His Plan.

And I do. Without Him, I would have been broken 2 months ago. Without Him, I would have wandered off into the darkness, drinking myself to oblivion, wallowing in the pain and sorrow. I would have been found in a ditch somewhere, completely catatonic and unwilling to move. I would have been the cause of even more pain and sadness in our families. I didn't want that. I didn't want to turn from My Creator. I didn't want to shout at Him, curse Him, disown Him. Yahweh is incapable of #evil, so those actions would have been pointless and detrimental to my growth. Thank You, Abba, for loving me.

I miss you, my angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely