April 18, 2023

As they say, "No one is perfect." Even though this is true, Felicia was perfect for me. She was #faithful to Yahweh, following Yeshua fervently, leaning on the Holy Spirit in her tough times. To me, and those who knew her, she was a Godly Woman. She personified #Love. My wife wasn't perfect. But she was real close. A true testament to what it's like to be a follower of Jesus.

I'm much less perfect than she. But through her examples over the last 22 years, I've learned how to be more Godly. I still have a long way to go, but having had a remarkable woman like Felicia show me how, I know I'll be the example Adonai needs me to be. Though I'm not perfect, I am doing my best to show Yahweh that I want to be a Godly person. I want to be an instrument for His #Grace. I want people to see HIM in my life. I want people to see JESUS climbing with me up this million-mile mountain.

Felicia, through pain and suffering, still had a heart for Our Father. She never took her eyes off Jesus. She never let the father of lies distract her and cause her to turn from Yahweh. It's this strength, this determination I need to make it up this mountain. It's this #determination I need to step out onto the water from inside this boat. I'm getting closer, but I still need more #faith. Yeshua, I'm trying...

Yesterday was a day full of moments. I was loved yesterday by my family and friends. I had a lot of distractions which helped me through the day. But, in the busyness, I still had moments of pain and sorrow. I still had moments of absolute loss. I thought my first birthday without my angel by my side would be painful. It wasn't. But there were enough moments to remind my shattered heart it's still in pieces. My Lord and Savior has been mending it, but I've held onto a few pieces out of fear - fear of not feeling Felicia's love anymore.

I need to give those pieces to Jesus so He can finish putting my heart back together. This will help me to step onto the water... I'll get there. I know I will. I know I'll always feel her love. I just need more time.

I love you, my gorgeous angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely