New Plans?

March 2, 2023

I have always felt Yahweh has something special planned for me. For 22 years, I thought it was to nurture and love my one and only Felicia. So, for 22 years, I gave her all I could give her. I loved her with complete passion, care, devotion...

Maybe that was God’s plan for me these last 22 years? All I know is through Him, I was able to give Felicia strength, encouragement, support, and LOVE. I love my wife #fiercely. I love her deeply. I miss my beautiful angel, her smile, her kiss...

But now, as I continue up this million-mile mountain, I am facing new challenges and am ready and waiting for Yahweh's next job for me. I still feel like He has something for me to do and I wait in patient love for Him to reveal it to me. I wait as I continue to mourn my wonderful wife. I long for her embrace, but His Spirit is holding me. I long for her laugh, but Yeshua is comforting me.

I don't know when or where my new job starts, but I gave my application to Yahweh last Tuesday [February 21] night, signed with tears of sorrow and tears of hope. He knows I want to serve Him, but maybe He knows I'm not quite ready? I know I have at least one more huge boulder to climb over that is just ahead on this path - the day we return her to the very earth God formed her from. Just thinking about it is difficult, but I know He will be with me, with her family.

I'll also have several more, smaller obstacles in the future - all of the firsts... I am not looking forward to those, either, but with Yeshua walking by my side and His Spirit keeping me up, I know I'll make it through those, as well.

Everyone, please understand that even though I seem to be handling this well, I'm not. I've already mentioned it before, but I feel led to mention it now - I will have never made it this far without Him who Loves me. Right now, I would be just a shell of a person. It's only through His Grace, Mercy, and Love that I can move. And I am leaning fully on Him to take me through this. To God, I give the Glory. I'm here for Him and because of Him.

I miss Felicia terribly. I miss her laugh. I miss her loving gaze. I miss her. I love you, Felicia. Always. Forever. Fiercely.