#Wisdom

May 17, 2023

Felicia was wise beyond her years. There were things she knew that astounded me. Especially when we had Bible discussions or talked about current events from a Biblical perspective. Adonai #blessed her with wisdom, and she took it to heart.

One of the many things I miss about my wife is our conversations. We would talk about anything and everything - no subject was too insignificant for us. And quite often, during our conversations, Felicia would offer some wise points of view, which brought some great balance to our discussions.

I miss those conversations. I can't believe it's been 12 weeks already... to me, it seems like it just happened. To me, Felicia has only been gone for just a short while, not 12 weeks. Sometimes, I can't even believe she's gone, at all. Sometimes, I still expect her to come around the corner and ask me a question or give me a peck on the cheek...

I miss my beautiful wife. I'm missing her terribly. Going to Holland, MI did help some. But when I got back home, February 21 happened all over again. It's been hard... it's been painful... it's been physically demanding.

I have a predisposition to vertigo. Whenever allergies hit or whenever I'm stressed, "Verti" hits me. Sometimes, it's just a faint reminder that I can get it. Other times, I feel like the world is spinning under my feet. That's what I've been experiencing ever since Friday. What happened Friday? I went to the Tulip Time carnival and rode the Gravitron.

I haven't stopped spinning since. It's gotten a little better, but I still walk around as if I've had too much bourbon. I don't think it's the ride's fault. I think the ride just unlocked what was already there. I think this round of Verti can be attributed to stress. Felicia would have been taking care of me through this. Her wisdom would have helped calm Verti. But, now, I'm having to deal with this on my own...

I miss my sweet angel. I miss her laugh, her eyes, her kiss, her heart, her mind... I miss HER. Always. Forever. #Fiercely