Valley of the Shadow

March 28, 2023

As I climb this million-mile mountain, I find myself in this valley frequently. This valley is where I had been in the beginning... I wandered through its dark ravines, desperately trying to understand why I was there.

But then I realized I shouldn't lean on my own understanding. I knew that I wasn't alone in that valley, nor on this mountain. Yahweh has always been with me. He's always been giving me comfort during my darkest of moments. He was there on February 21, and He's still there today, guiding me up this path, helping me through those dark valleys when I come to them.

My journey has been full of ups and downs, so far: whenever I remember a special moment or just a silly memory, I have a minute or two of smiles, fondly thinking of those things. Those are my ups. But then I remember my wife is no longer with me, physically. Those moments are cliffs into an abyss... those moments are when I cry out to God in pain.

I miss my wonderful wife. Horribly. I miss her touch, her lips, her eyes, her laugh... I really miss my wife, terribly. And this causes me to stumble; this causes me to fall to my knees. In these moments, though, I feel Yahweh's shepherd's hook nudging me forward, gently - with #Love and #Compassion. God knows my hurt, He knows my suffering. His guidance comforts me. I know He's leading me through my dark moments because He needs me to emerge out of the valleys and back onto the path. It's these moments in my journey where I gain understanding.

I still have a long way to go. I still don't understand fully. I still find myself wondering if I can even summit this mountain. But each time I think these things, Yeshua reminds me He's with me. He reminds me The Spirit is carrying this crushing weight for me. I'm thankful for these reminders from My Lord. I'm grateful for My Savior and His Love for me. I pray I do better in showing my love for Him by trusting in His Ways. Fully.

I love you, my dear princess. I miss you. Always. Forever. #Fiercely