Strong Tower

July 15, 2023

This is today's VOD. I've posted this verse before and have referenced it numerous times. Knowing who Adonai is, knowing His attributes, I know I can #trust in Him to carry me through this dark valley; I know I can run to Him for security and protection.

And I have been. For over 20 weeks now...

Whenever Felicia felt down or was in pain, I would remind her that Yahweh is with us. I'd tell her to focus on Him, and He will get her through her situation. And He did. Every time.

This time, it's me who needs to focus on Him. I need to put all my #faith in Him and show Him I trust in Him fully. Because, without my faith in Him, without my trust in Him, I'll fail. Completely. So I need to step off this boat and into the hands of Yeshua.

But I'm still struggling. I miss my precious wife. I miss her terribly. My shattered heart has been overwhelmed with grief. So much so, it's been difficult navigating through my days. Yesterday, while I was at Lowe's, I almost stopped right in the middle of the aisle and wept. I was able to compose myself and prevent that. This also happened to me a few other times in a few other places.

Memories of my wife are scattered all over the place. Nearly every place I go, Felicia and I had gone together regularly whenever she was able. We always goofed off when we shopped together. She loved how I could make her laugh. Even in her worse moments, I could make her laugh and she'd tell me "You always make me laugh and I love that about you."

I miss making her laugh. I miss giving her my love. I miss holding her. I miss her kisses. I miss her beautiful blue eyes. I miss her bursts of laughter. I miss her... I miss her so hard. I miss her so immensely. I miss her so, so much...

But... I know she's in Paradise, worshipping Elohim, praising His Name. This is my peace.

I love you, my angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely