Heart, Soul,and Strength

March 14, 2023

Three weeks ago, I comforted you in your pain - the worse it's been in some time. I tried my best to help you feel better. Three weeks ago was the last time I heard your voice, felt your touch. Three weeks ago, I lost you; your family lost you...

The world, as I knew it, ended for me three weeks ago. My heart shattered into a billion pieces. My soul had been crushed...

I could have yelled at God. I could have fled from Him. But those actions seemed detrimental and inappropriate. Instead, I ran to My Father. I needed His Love and Grace at that moment in my life more than any other moment in my nearly 49 years. I could have screamed at Him in anger. Instead, I cried to Him in anguish. I could have run from Him in panic. Instead, I ran to Him in pain.

Felicia’s death is still a million-mile mountain of a climb to overcome; her sudden and unexpected death is something I grieve over daily, hourly, every second... I have some good moments here and there. But, once I realize I'm not in a dream and this nightmare is my reality, I mourn even harder.

Through all of this, though, I have learned to love the Lord my God with ALL my Heart, ALL my Soul, and with ALL my Strength. I surrender to Him, daily. I still stumble on this journey, but His Spirit lifts me up. I still hurt horribly, but Yeshua is there to console me. And, so, I must continue this journey so I can discover what it is Yahweh needs me to do.

I miss my loving wife. Terribly and with much heartache. But, she's Healed and Whole and ALIVE in His Glory. This continues to help me move my feet up this mountain.

I love you, Felicia. Always. Forever. #Fiercely