My Hope is in Him

June 11, 2023

From the moment I found my sweet wife's lifeless body on February 21, I have buried my face into the loving arms of Yahweh. I ran to Him hard and fast, never looking back, with tears pouring from my soul like the falls of Niagra. The pain and torment I felt then has diminished only just...

Losing a loved one is never easy. Losing a spouse is heart-shattering. Losing a spouse suddenly and unexpectedly? The only thing worse, I can imagine, is losing a child suddenly and unexpectedly. The loss of my wonderful wife has affected so many of us on so many different levels. I hurt differently than her mom. Vickie hurts differently than her kids. And Lynn and Lee hurt differently than her grandmother. The rest of her family hurt differently than others.

We all have suffered a terrible loss. We all have a billion questions. We all have moved forward in different ways. But, we all know Him. Our Lord. Our Creator. Our Strong Tower. Our Deliverer. Yahweh. Adonai. El Shadai. Elohim. Jehovah Rapha. Jehova Nissi. Jehovah Jira. Father. Abba. God...

Ever since that early evening on February 21, I have been laser-focused on My Lord and Savior Yeshua and on Our Father, Yahweh. I have done my best to stay on His Path for me. I have kept my #hope in Him by #trusting in His #Word and in the #Truth. He has been my #shelter and my #shield, though I have dropped my guard a few times these past 16 weeks.

It's because of my #faith in Him, because of my knowledge that Felicia espoused the same faith and #belief, I can rest in His Arms. As torn as I am, as much suffering as I go through, I know that because my wife is dancing in His #Glory, I can find a #peace. I still hurt. I still cry out for Felicia. I still ask God "Why?" I still can't believe the love of my life is gone... but knowing she's healed and pain-free gives me some comfort. Yeshua is healing my heart. The Holy Spirit is carrying this weight. Yahweh is remaining my Shelter. I'll get to a place where the pain is tolerable because of the #Trinity.

Until then, I'll keep climbing this million-mile mountain...

I love you, my dear princess. Always. Forever. #Fiercely