#Patience
June 22, 2023
This is the VOD from 2 years ago. I need this right now. I need to be patient in my suffering. I need to have the courage to continue climbing my million-mile mountain. I need to not rush my healing... my brokenness will be mended by Adonai... my turmoil will be alleviated through His #Goodness and #Mercy. I just need to be patient in my sorrow...
I'm missing Felicia horribly. But I can't force the healing my heart needs. I can't expedite my recovery. I need to be patient with my tormented soul. I need to show Yahweh that I am willing to wait on His #timing. It's tough, though, this hurting so badly that the only way I could have suffered in the past was with comforting words from my wife and her loving arms holding me, whispering words of love and peace... now I need to patiently wait for God so my heart can grow strong again.
As I wait, I continue to stand, frozen, on this boat, waiting to work the courage up to step out and onto the stormy waters. Yeshua has called me to have #faith and step out. I'm just paralyzed with an overwhelming sadness right now. My shattered heart continues to break, yet I know Yeshua is healing it. My crushed soul continues to feel the overburdened weight pressing down on it, yet I know the Holy Spirit is lifting it from me. I'm feeling lonely, overcome with unfathomable grief... but I know God, in all His #Providential #Mercy, will lead me through this dark time as long as I remain #faithful to Him and #trust that He will guide me up the right path on this mountain.
So, I know that even though I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my 49 years, I'm not alone. Even though my heart has suffered the worst loss it may ever suffer, I'm not suffering alone. Even though my life has been forever altered in a way no one's lives should alter, I can heal as long as I keep my focus know Him. So, I will patiently await His healing, His strengthening, His reformation of my heart.
But in my waiting, I am full of despair and a sadness beyond grief. I've lost the singlemost important person in my life. I've lost my most favorite part of me. And it hurts beyond measure.
I love you, my princess. Always. Forever. #Fiercely
