Proverbs 18:10
June 23, 2023
This was the VOD 3 years ago, and it's one I hold near. I'm not a righteous man (though I'm working on it), but I know the Name of the Lord is a Strong Tower. I know I can run to him and find shelter, find comfort... this has been my #SavingGrave these past 17 and a half weeks.
And this is a verse I need to really hold in my shattered and grieving heart...
Felicia knew this verse, too. She tried her best, in all her pain and suffering, to stay focused on Yahweh, remembering that He is Our Shelter, Our Strong Tower, Our Deliverer. Through her agony, she searched for Him. Through her torment, she turned to Him. She cried out to God frequently over the last year and a half. Her suffering was only endured through #Faith in Him.
Now, I'm continuing to use her example and keep my faith in Him through my own suffering. He has been a Great Comforter during these past 122 days. Adonai has been my Deliverer from the heartache I carry. I still have a long journey, but as I stand on this boat, in the middle of this stormy lake, on the side of this million-mile mountain, I know He is with me. I know He will continue to guide me. I know Yeshua is mending my shredded heart. I know the Holy Spirit is relieving my burden.
But the pain is still as fresh and new as the day my beloved bride went to be with Our Father. I've been struggling with my pain, lately, because I'm making a change at home. A huge change. I'm remodeling our room - something we've wanted to do for a good while. Now that it's happening, my heart has been shredded again. This room was made for us. Felicia's mom and grandma remodeled the room, paint and all, for us, so when we moved in, we had a nice room to call our own. And we did. For over 15 years.
Now? Changing this very specific part of my life, with all its attachments to Felicia, is so much harder on me than I thought it would be. But I know that once it's complete, I'll be able to move again. God told me, through my dream of Felicia, that I'm moving. It doesn't feel like it. But He certainly knows.
I love you, my beautiful, sweet, loving wife. Always. Forever. #Fiercely
