May 4, 2023

I feel like I've prayed more frequently over the past 72 days than I had the rest of my life. But not all prayers have been in thanksgiving. Some of my prayers have been mournful cries, full of weeping and sorrow.

I'm trying to be consistent with my thankfulness, but sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with #grief I can't help but go to Yahweh in tears of sadness and loneliness. I miss Felicia horribly, and in those moments of deep despair, I go to God seeking relief.

I still have a long way to go up my million-mile mountain, starting with reaching Jesus on this stormy lake. I'm walking on the water now. But His Hands are still out of reach. Hopefully, I'll finally reach them in the coming days.

Until then, I will need to remain focused on Yeshua and stay #thankful in my prayers. I need to let Yahweh know that through this storm, through this horrible tragedy in my life, I can still #praise Him. I have been, and I pray I continue to. God has been my Shelter, my Deliverer. Yeshua has been healing my shattered heart. The Holy Spirit has been removing this unbearable weight from my back. I'm moving forward with the help of The Trinity. They're just baby-steps, though.

Maybe in the next several days, I'll have grown more. Maybe in the next several days, I'll be across this stormy lake and continue my climb... until then, I need to remain thankful in my prayers because God has given me 22 years' worth of fantastic memories.

I love you and miss you, my beloved bride. Always. Forever. #Fiercely