#MissingYou

April 9, 2023

I'm missing you right now, my beautiful Felicia. I think I did turn a corner this weekend - I think I have come to grips with your sudden, unexpected, and untimely passing. Even though I know you're not going to walk up to me and peck me on the cheek, even though I know I'm not going to hear your uproarious laughter from the next room, I still miss you #fiercely.

I'll start going into autopilot when suddenly something reminds me of you (and there are a billion things). Then, I remember that my favorite part about me is no longer here but singing praises to Yahweh. I get sad and weep. My heart hurts some. But then Yeshua sits beside me, shows me my shattered heart He's healing, and reminds me that you're still there in my heart and the memories are still burned in my mind. He tells me that I need to step out of this boat so I can keep climbing my million-mile mountain.

I'm at the edge of the boat, Felicia. Jesus has walked out onto the water and is waiting for me to continue my journey across the storm-riddled sea and back onto the million-mile mountain I need to keep climbing. By #faith, I can do it. I trust in Yeshua to keep me above water. I #trust in His Spirit to strengthen me. It makes missing you, my angel, a little easier. It's His #Love that is helping me through this. And my heart is eternally grateful that you, my bride, know Yeshua as your own Lord and Savior. This brings me #peace. And, it will help me step out of the boat, as if you were there beside me, encouraging me to trust in Him who Created All Things, just as you have.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving me 22 blessed years with my dear Felicia. Through her love, YOU changed me. Through YOUR love, my Messiah #saved me. Thank you, Abba. I love you.

And I love you, my beautiful wife. Always. Forever. #Fiercely