Thank You, Adonai
March 21, 2023
A month ago, I held you for the last time... a month ago, I last heard your sweet voice... a month ago, my life forever changed.
As I think back on these last 28 days, I marvel at how Yahweh has held me close. It is He who made me; it is He who placed me in my mother's womb nearly 49 years ago. And, it is He who gave me the most wonderful wife and friend any man could ask for.
Thank you, Adonai, for making me. Thank you, Father, for making Felicia. Because of You and Your #Love for us, You guided her to me so that I could return to You. Thank you, Abba, for loving us so much that You moved our hearts to be closer, You moved our souls to be nearer to you.
I spent 22 years with the most incredible, lovely, wonderful, witty, sexy, beautiful, sweet, awesome woman - 19 of those years as my wife. I have a billion wonderful memories to help me move up this million-mile mountain, but I can't take one step without the help of Yeshua by my side, holding my shattered heart. I can't move an inch without His Spirit lifting this crushing weight from my soul.
28 days ago, I lost my darling wife.
28 days ago, I got closer to God than I ever had in my 49 years of being here.
I had a choice: run from or run to. Because God never makes mistakes, because He's incapable of evil, I knew that running from Him would have been misguided and would have resulted in even worse pain. So I ran to Him. With open arms. Screaming in agony. Because I knew that His Love is greater than any pain I felt; I knew His Comfort is better than any earthly cushion.
Thank You for making me, Father. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for allowing me to be Felicia’s husband for 19 years inside of being her best friend for 22. I have a wonderful gift wrapped in those billion memories I have of her...
I miss you, Felicia. I dreamt about you last night for the first time. God gave me that gift, too. It was good. But, in the dream, I knew I didn't have you long. It was still good. I love you, my beautiful, sweet angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely.
