I Still Hurt

March 22, 2023

This is how I'm able to get through each day. This is how I can continue to climb this million-mile mountain. As long as I continue to keep Yahweh with me, as long as I lean on Yeshua, as long as I rely on His Spirit (which is in me) to keep this weight from pressing my soul, I know I'll make it to the top.

Without God in my life, I know I'd be a wreck. I know I'd be stuck in my head, curled on the bed, and barely alive. It's all because of my Heavenly Father that I can keep moving forward. It's all because of Him, I am climbing this mountain.

I miss Felicia... I miss her laugh, her smile, her hugs... I miss my wife horribly. But, the peace I find in the throes of my sorrow is that she's healed. My wife is whole and ALIVE in His Presence, worshiping and singing praises to Him who Created her. This is my comfort. This is my peace. I cling to this #fact, desperately, as I move forward. Every time I find myself in another pit, I remember this. And it helps.

I still hurt. My heart still feels shattered. My soul still feels crushed. But I know I'm not defeated. I know I'll make it to the summit. I just need to remember that I have His Spirit within me, removing the crushing weight of despair; I have Yeshua by my side, putting my broken heart back together. Although I'm but a man, I know my pain will get lighter; I know my suffering is only for a season. But I still hurt, for now...

I love you, my beautiful, sweet, awesome, kind, lovely, sexy, funny, intelligent, incredible angel. Always. Forever. #Fiercely