Renew a Right Spirit

June 5, 2023

This is one of my daily #prayers. I need to keep my #focus on Yeshua, on Yahweh, so that I can renew a right spirit in me and have a clean heart. Going through #life was never meant to be easy and it's verses like this that remind me we can be easily distracted if we lose our focus.

As week 15 approaches, I'm reminded of just how precious our relationships are with each other and, more importantly, with Our Creator. While I continue to take my days moment to moment, I also pray, constantly, that Adonai works on my #heart, that He gives me a right spirit so that He can use my experience for His #Glory. I know that without His Guidance, I'd be lost, wondering deep in the wilderness, deaf to any calls for me.

15 weeks ago, today, Felicia and I were cutting up. We were joking about the cats we feed. We were reminiscing about Buster. We were just living life, as if we had thousands of more days together. This actually brings me some comfort. It reinforces my belief that we had a fantastic marriage. It reestablishes my thoughts that we would have grown old together, fully in love with each other all the way to the end. This brings me some peace.

I still have a long climb ahead on this million-mile mountain, but knowing that our #love was never in question, knowing that our marriage, our friendship, our God-Focused Bond was as solid as His Word, I can move. Though, it is painful. Because, now, I'm moving forward without my beloved wife...

I miss you, my beautiful angel. I miss your smile. I miss your eyes. I miss your touch. I miss your laugh. I miss your love. I miss YOU, Felicia. My shattered heart constantly looks for your hugs and kisses. But Yeshua is restoring it. He's healing the wound where you were suddenly and unexpectedly ripped from me. But you're in His Kingdom, now. And my shattered heart #rejoices at this.

I love you, Felicia. Always. Forever. #Fiercely