Psalms 3:3

April 25, 2023

9 weeks ago, today, the world as I knew it ceased to exist. 9 weeks ago, today, my life was forever and tragically changed. 9 weeks ago, today, I lost my lover, my best friend, my angel, my confidant, my favorite part of me - my beautiful wife.

After 22 years together, 19 in marriage, after providing all the #love and #care I could provide, after spending nearly half my life trying to give Felicia all she deserved, all the #happiness and #joyfulness we shared, my life was completely destroyed. My princess was no longer with me... my sweetheart went to be with Yahweh...

I stood at the foot of a million-mile mountain, staring up at what seemed to be an unclimbable rock. I felt #trepidation and #fear and #lonely. But I knew I had God with me. I still have Him with me. If it weren't for my #faith in Him, if it weren't for His pure #Love, I'd have been lost. You wouldn't even recognize me today.

When I started my climb after days of numbness and shock, I leaned fully on Yahweh, I held onto Yeshua's Hand tightly, I pleaded for the Holy Spirit to lift this immovable #burden... I knew Our Father would be my #Comforter, my #Deliverer, my #Protector, my #Shield... I knew He would help lift my head and would surround me with His #Glory.

And He has. He is. He will. If I hadn't run to Him, arms stretched high, crying out for His Comfort, I shudder to think what would have become of me. I thank You, Abba, for showing your Love to me, for beckoning me to go to You, for being who You are: the King of Kings and Lord of Lords; my #Alpha and #Omega.

Now I stand on a boat, in the midst of a stormy sea, halfway up this mountain, with Yeshua on the waters calling out to me to take my step of faith out of this boat and join Him. I can say that one foot is ON the water, but the other is still on the boat. I'll get there. I know I will. He knows I will. I just need this shattered heart of mine to be healed a little more... this crushed soul of mine to be relieved a little more... but I'll get there.

I love you, my gorgeous wife. Always. Forever. #Fiercely